So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
