It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
