so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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