i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
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All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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