in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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