worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
