whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
