Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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