This is not my ceiling
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
