butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
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My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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