ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?