My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
