Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.

  (818): View more from California

  Punch her baby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me. (818): Punch her baby. http://tfl.nu/ve2m
  Replies (59) Good night (6382) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Four minutes until I can fart!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): Four minutes until I can fart! http://tfl.nu/u0vh
  Replies (11) Good night (1110) Bad night (3324)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating. http://tfl.nu/1th0
  Replies (23) Good night (5941) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad. http://tfl.nu/0kg4
  Replies (82) Good night (30414) Bad night (2285)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (980): You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls. http://tfl.nu/1jxr
  Replies (12) Good night (1973) Bad night (3114)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+45): You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right? http://tfl.nu/cwve
  Replies (9) Good night (3953) Bad night (1622)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it. http://tfl.nu/2m8n
  Replies (6) Good night (3921) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over. http://tfl.nu/fjvq
  Replies (3) Good night (2298) Bad night (1743)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know http://tfl.nu/zbvb
  Replies (3) Good night (1914) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler. http://tfl.nu/6sno
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend? http://tfl.nu/ol2o
  Replies (7) Good night (1357) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird. http://tfl.nu/4vio
  Replies (1) Good night (1210) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies http://tfl.nu/gofo
  Replies (3) Good night (944) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?

  (1-830): View more from Texas

  Jeans and a nice top.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (830): So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law? (1-830): Jeans and a nice top. http://tfl.nu/z19e
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual. http://tfl.nu/irow
  Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (142)

Randomize