6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
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So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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