My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
