the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
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Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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