bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
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he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
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Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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