Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
