shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
