What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My hand turned me down
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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