READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
