Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
