She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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