WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
