we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
