I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
