I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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