Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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