I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
