the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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