Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
