I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
