Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
