I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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