I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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