maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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