she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
