Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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