Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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