People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
