he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
