I love black thongs
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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