do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
