Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
