I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
