the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize