she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
