I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
