I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Randomize
