Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
