if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
