I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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