Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
