so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
