Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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