sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
