i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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