she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
