He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
