And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
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Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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