Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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