So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
