the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
