i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
