i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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