Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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